Pulled out a long strand of hair from my butt crack. At work. In my cubicle. No shame, friends. No shame.
I’m furious. I ordered a couple of SK-II skincare products from sasa.com and was super stoked when my package arrived yesterday. I opened them up to find my essence and my cellumination mask-in lotion had an expiration date of 2011. Yeah, not using them now.
SO ANGRY. I’d been waiting to try out these products for a while and found them at a discounted price online. Guess I should have expected something like this happening, coming from an shady ass HK online store.
Guess I’ll just have the BF buy me the REAL thing from Saks or the official SK-II website.
“You better brush your teeth when we get home. I don’t want no pork on my penis”, said my Turkish Muslim boyfriend after I’d just devoured a bowl of Chinese soup dumplings and before I was about to give him a blowjob. Haha.
I’m seriously becoming grumpy these days. I don’t know if it’s the lack of sex due to BF’s incredibly busy and tiring schedule or if I’m just becoming a bitch. I feel bad for BF though. I take out everything little thing that bothers me on him. And yet, he still manages to understand. Sometimes I’ll do things or say things HOPING that it’ll piss him off, but it doesn’t. And as a result, I get even more mad. I think there’s something wrong with me.
But sex last night was good. We only have sex like 2 times a week vs. when we used to have sex every single day, sometimes more than once in one day. I’m beginning to wonder what I like more. Sex via the penis or sex via handjob. My god, he made me explode using his hands. He was finger fucking me like a fucking jack hammer drilling into the concrete ground. It was amazing. Wish that would happen every night.
Poop.
Only because it’s 4/20 and it’s Friday, I’m going to get fucking demolished off marijuana tonight.
I just had explosive diarrhea in my work bathroom stall. Only, I didn’t realize, prior to sitting down, that it was already clogged. My normal shit sessions usually involve multiple flushes. But by my third flush, I looked behind me, horrified to see dark brown water almost to the top of the toilet bowl.
I jumped ship. I’m not even sure if I finished wiping my ass. But I definitely didn’t wash my hands. I got out of there as soon as I could to avoid anyone seeing me come out.
Only, someone did. Fortunately, there are 3 other stalls in there, and right now, all I can do is hope she doesn’t think the Code Brown stall was me.
FUCK.
Thoughts: Clarisonic Plus vs. Olay Cleansing System Rx?
I would like to purchase one or the other but am torn. Since January, I’ve been on a crazy skincare kick, as I noticed my first traces of fine lines under my eyes. And I’m only 27. Unacceptable!
I started doing a lot of DIY home skincare things like seaweed facials, apple cider vinegar with olive oil and sugar for a scrub, oatmeal face wash, green tea face masks, and uh…and several other bizarre things.
On top of that, I’ve really been into face masks. I just purchased a fucking shitload of face masks by My Beauty Diary, SK-II, and Skin Food.
So anyways, anybody tried Clarisonic or Olay? Advice on which one is the most efficient?
Any feedback would be much appreciated. Actually, let me rephrase. I expect feedback. Plain and simple. Only because if you give me feedback, I’ll give you more sex stories. Deal?
You guys rock. Thanks. :)
You know your BF’s a keeper when he’ll smell the socks you’ve been wearing everyday for 5 days, simply because you said, “Smell my socks. They smell like vinegar.”
That awkward moment when a coworker suddenly stops by your cube and sees you on his FB page, looking at his photos, and you’re not even FB friends with him. Motherfucker.
My red river dries up tomorrow, but I’m really horny right now. Like, so horny, I could finger fuck myself under my desk at work right now. Or go home and fuck the shit out of the BF and create a bloody mess.
Been doing the finger fucking since I was 7-years old. My 2nd grade teacher caught me masturbating under the desk during class and called my parents to tell them she was really concerned about me. At least she wasn’t the one who caught me rubbing up against the jacuzzi pump at a public pool. Or caught me fingering myself standing up behind a random bush.
Yeah…I got an early start. I was one fucking weird horny child. And yet, I held off until I was 21 to lose my virginity. I’m weird. Wait, did I say that already?
Skin79 Super Plus Vital BB Cream: my new holy grail product. I’ve never been one to use any sort of liquid product on my face, as I have extremely oily skin with large pores. The idea of applying liquid foundation or anything creamy was never an option for me, which is why I stuck to powders for so long. But after hearing so many fantastic things about BB creams in general, I decided to give this one a try. This is the NEW Skin79 BB cream. It comes in this bright summery orange bottle, has upgraded to SPF50, contains vital nutrients to support healthy glowing skin, and has a matte finish (which is great for someone super oily like me). Anyways, I ordered this off the Skin79 site directly, and when it arrived, I couldn’t wait to try it out. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. A small pea-sized amount is enough for your entire face. If you want more coverage, wait 5 minutes before applying another layer. Going too much too soon will only cause cakiness. But really, this is so wonderful. The texture is creamy yet light, has full coverage but doesn’t feel heavy. Once it soaks into your skin, nobody will know you’re wearing anything. Also, the color is nice. It’s not your usual grayish hue that a lot of BB creams have but more of a light peachy color, which is perfect for my skin tone. I’ve tried one other BB cream that had the grayish tone, the Gem Beauty Amethyst BB Cream, and it didn’t blend into my skin as well as the Skin79. If you have skin that’s a little on the darker side, the Skin79 orange bottle may be a little too light for you. Just throwing it out there because I’d hate for you tanner women to go out and buy this and end up looking like the Grudge lady. But for those with pretty light yellowish skin, this is a great shade.
Trust me, I’ve NEVER written a single makeup review in my life. Oh well, I did write a review about some perfumes, but that doesn’t count. So the fact that I took time to write a review about a product I love…in my blog that’s supposed to be about sex and disgusting profane things, it must mean something good.
For $25, you’ve got yourself a fantastic product. But I encourage you all to just search the Skin79 website. They have all sorts of BB creams that cater to every person’s skin type and condition. I believe the most popular one prior to the orange bottle coming out was the Skin79 hot pink bottle. I’ve heard great things about that one as well.
I’ll try and post some before and after pics, even though I swore I’d never reveal my picture in this blog. We’ll see…*twiddling fingers*.
Last night, the BF was calling me obese. Except, he kept pronouncing it “o-beast”, thinking that was the right way to say it. I belittled him and his lack of knowledge.
But secretly, I really liked his made-up accidental word.
O’BEAST. My new favorite word. And it’s suiting for some, don’t you think?
I just got coerced into participating in the megamillions lottery by the BF. He bought 10 tickets and had me pick out the numbers for 5 of them. WASTE OF TIME. WASTE OF MONEY! I’ve never purchased a lotto ticket in my life.
And now that I’ve picked out some of the numbers, I’m obviously drawn to know the results and actually give a slight shit about it. I hate caring about things that do not matter.
Ladies, when you have sex with your boyfriends, do you expect him to make you come every time? I do. And when it doesn’t happen, I am not nice about it at all.
Sure, I can understand if I was out of town and we hadn’t had sex in a while, and he naturally came quickly, but if we’re having sex regularly, I expect an orgasm every time. And if it doesn’t happen during sex, I expect him to do something about it orally or manually.
I don’t think I’m asking too much. I mean, I think sex is pointless if both parties don’t achieve orgasm. But maybe I’m just being selfish. Haha.
I think this woman is an inspiration. My senior year of highschool, believe it or not, I had acne WORSE than this. There wasn’t a single patch of skin on my face that was clear. It was so bad, I used Dermablend. Not sure if you know what that is, but it’s a brand of makeup/concealer that’s very full coverage, meant for people who want to hide their tattoos or hard-to-conceal skin issues. My mom had it because she has vitiligo and uses it to cover the white patches on her skin. So you can imagine how thick this texture is. But also, back in highschool, I knew NOTHING about makeup and how to apply it. Too bad Youtube didn’t exist back then. Life would have been a lot easier, and my daily battle with cystic acne wouldn’t have been so bad if I knew how to properly conceal my face.
